Monty Python Quotes

King Arthur: "You are indeed brave, sir knight, but the fight is mine."
Black Knight: "Oh, had enough, eh?"
King Arthur: "Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left!"

"He's Not The Messiah, he's a very naughty boy"

"Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say n'more, know what I mean?

"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise....
Our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency...."

"What if you don't like Spam..?"

Praline: "Look my lad, I know a dead parrot when I see one and I'm looking at one right now."
Shopkeeper: "No, no sir, it's not dead. It's resting."

Social Worker: "You vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous, pervert!"
Man: "What? I came here for an argument!"
Social Worker: "Oh, sorry, this is 'Abuse'."

Pepperpot: "Well, I object to all this sex on the television! I mean, I keep falling off!"

And now for something completely different: a man with a tape recorder up his nose.

We interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irritating.

Man: Officer?
Policeman: Yes?
Man: I'm terribly sorry, but I was sitting on that bench over there, and dozed off for a while, and when I woke up I found my wallet gone and 500 pounds to be stolen.
Policeman: Well, uh, did you see anyone around, anyone at all...?
Man: No, none at all, that's the trouble.
Policeman:Well, I'm afraid there's not much we can do about that, sir.
[long pause]
Man: You wanna go home to my place?
[another pause]
Policeman: Yeah, all right.

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