Misc. Quotes

"I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop" - Marilyn Monroe

"If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee" Lady Astor

"If y0u were my wife I'd drink it" Winston Churchill

"My career must be slipping, this is the first time I have been available to pick up an award" - Sir Michael Caine

"If life was fair Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead" - Johnny Carson

"The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty" - Woody Allen

"Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser" - Paul Newman

"I know more old drunks than I do old doctors"  Robert Mitchum

"Everybody talks about the weather but no-one does anything about it"  Mark Twain

"Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now" Steven Wright

"I do benefits for all religions, I'd hate to blow the afterlife on a technicality" Bob Hope

"The quiet man is turning up the volume" Iain Duncan-Smith

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